Status of Mothers in Islam

What does Islam say about “mothers”?

Ansar Al-‘Adl

This is one of the most convincing things about Islam – the treatment of women in general and especially the high position mothers hold in Islam.

Amongst the clearest examples of Islam’s honoring women is the great status of the mother in Islam. Islam commands kindness, respect and obedience to parents and specifically emphasizes and gives preference to the mother as shall be shown in this article.
Islam raises parents to a status greater than that found in any other religion or ideology.

The command to be good to one’s parents begins right from the Qur’an. Allah says:

“Worship God and join not any partners with Him; and be kind to your parents…” [Noble Quran 4:36]

The mention of servitude to parents follows immediately after servitude to God. This is repeated throughout the Qur’an.

“Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to
them the wing of humility and say, “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.” [Noble Quran 17:23-24]

The great scholar, Abu al-Faraj Ibn Al-Jawzî (d. 1201CE) explained:

To be kind to one’s parents is: to obey them when they order you to do something, unless it is something which Allah has forbidden; to give priority to their orders over voluntary acts of worship; to abstain from that which they forbid you to do; to provide for them; to serve them; to approach them with gentle humility and mercy;
not to raise your voice in front of them; nor to fix your glance on them; nor to call them by their names; and to be patient with them. (Ibn al-Jawzî, Birr al-Wâlidayn)

The Qur’an emphasizes the great struggles the mother goes through for her child, to highlight the need for one to reciprocate their parents sacrifice for them:

“And We have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and his weaning was over two years. Be thankful to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.” [Noble Quran 31:14]

The renowned exegete, Shaykh Abdur-Rahman As-Sa’di (d. 1956), says about this verse:

{And to your parents} meaning, be kind to your parents, shower on them love, affection and piety, both in words and deeds, treat them with tender humility, provide for them and never harm them
verbally nor physically. […] Then, Allah mentions the reason why we should be kind to our parents, when He says {His mother bore him in travail upon travail}, that is, the mother bore constant
suffering; in pain and hardship from the first moment she felt the child moving in her womb to the worst pangs during the time of delivery. And {his weaning is for two years}, that is, during these two years the mother breast-feeds her child and looks after him/her. So after all the years of suffering, hardship, love and care, could we not, at least, compensate our mothers for what they have done for us and pay them back their rights? (Taysîr al-Karîm ar- Rahmân fî Tafsîr al-Kalâm al-Manân)

The Qur’an repeats its mention of the struggles of the mother in yet another passage:

“And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age
of] forty years, he says, “My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to
You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims.” [Noble Quran 46:15]

In connection to this passage, the late Grand Mufti of Pakistan, Shaykh Muhammad Shafy (d. 1976) wrote:

Mother has more rights than father
Although the first part of this verse is a command to do good to both the parents, the second sentence refers only to the hardships suffered by the mother, because they are unavoidable, and no child can be born without them. Every mother has to go through the
problems of pregnancy and severe pains of delivery. As against this, it is not necessary for a father that he suffers any hardship in bringing up and educating the child, if he can afford to pay somebody else for these services. This is why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) has given more rights to the mother than anybody else. According to a hadîth he has said,

“Do good to and serve your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then the near relatives and then those who come after them.” [Mazhari]

“And his carrying and his weaning is in thirty months” [Noble Quran 46:15]

This sentence too describes the hardships suffered by the mother for her baby. It points out that even after suffering hardships during pregnancy and the severe labor pains, the mother does not get respite from toils, because the natural food of the infants is in her
breasts, and she has to suckle them. (Shafy, Ma’âriful Qur’ân [Eng. trans.], vol. 7, pp. 795-796)

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) continually used to remind his followers of the status of the mother and the obligation of being good to one’s parents. The following narration is a beautiful example of the noble position of the

A man came to the Prophet and said: O Messenger of Allah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me? He replied: “Your mother.” The man asked: Then who? So he replied: “Your mother.” The man then asked: Then who? So the
Prophet replied again: “Your mother.” The man then asked: Then who? So he replied: “Then your father.” (Sahîh Bukhârî 5971 and Sahîh Muslim 7/2)

Commenting on this hadith, Shaykh Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi notes:

This hadith confirms that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) gave precedence to kind treatment of one’s mother over kind treatment of one’s father (Al-Hashimi, The Ideal Muslimah, IIPH 2005, p. 165)

Likewise, the late Grand Mufti of Saudi Arabia, Shaykh Abdul-Azîz Ibn Bâz (d. 1999) comments on this hadith saying:

So this necessitates that the mother is given three times the like of kindness and good treatment than the father. (Majmoo’ Fataawaa wa Maqalat Mutanawwi’ah)

He also writes:

The secret of her importance lies in the tremendous burden and responsibility that is placed upon her, and the difficulties that she has to shoulder – responsibilities and difficulties some of which not even a man bears. This is why from the most important obligations upon a person is to show gratitude to the mother, and kindness and good companionship with her. And in this matter, she is to be given
precedence over and above the father. And I have no doubt that my mother – may Allah shower His mercy upon her – had a tremendous effect upon me, in encouraging me to study; and she
assisted me in it. May Allah greatly increase her reward and reward
her with the best of rewards for what she did for me. (Majmoo’ Fatawa wa Maqalat Mutanawwi’ah)

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) also said in a famous narration:

‘Paradise lies at the feet of your mother’ [Musnad Ahmad, Sunan An-Nasâ’i, Sunan Ibn Mâjah]

What can be greater evidence of honoring women than this? Islam has effectively placed the ultimate reward for human beings in their devotion to their mothers. Shaykh Ibrahîm Ibn Sâlih Al-Mahmud writes:

Treat your mother with the best companionship, then your father;
because paradise is under the mother’s feet. Never disobey your parents, nor make them angry, otherwise you will live a miserable life in this world and the hereafter, and your children will treat you likewise. Ask your parents gently if you need something. Always
thank them if they give it to you, and excuse them if they do not, and never insist on a matter if they refuse to give you something. (Al-Mahmoud, How to be kind to your Parents, p.40)

It is related from Talhah ibn Mu’âwiyah as-Salamî who said:

I came to the Prophet and said, “O Messenger of Allah, I want to perform Jihad in the way of Allah. He asked, “Is your mother alive?” I replied, “Yes.” The Prophet then said: “Cling to her feet, because paradise is there.” (at-Tabarânî).

Shaykh Nidhaam Sakkijihaa comments:
Cling to her feet means to submit yourself to her, be close to her, protect her, serve her because in this is Paradise and with her satisfaction you will enjoy the good blessings of Allah. (Sakkijihaa, Honoring the Parents, p. 52)

The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) showed us the importance of serving one’s parents in the following narration reported by Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud:

I asked the Prophet, ‘O Messenger of Allah, what is the best deed?’ He replied ‘Prayer offered on time.’ I asked, ‘What is next in goodness?’ He replied, ‘To be dutiful and kind to one’s parents.’ I
further asked, ‘What is next in goodness?’ He replied, ‘Jihad in the
Allah’s cause. [Sahîh Bukhârî, Sahîh Muslim]

Just as the Prophet said that kindness to one’s parents was of the best deeds, he also said that disobedience to them was amongst the major sins:

“The greatest sins are to associate partners in worship with Allah, to be undutiful or unkind to one’s parents, to kill a soul forbidden by Allah and to bear false witness.” [Sahîh Bukhârî]

Even after the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him),


the Muslim scholars continued to stress the importance of being dutiful to one’s mother. By examining the conduct and
teachings of the early Muslim scholars, one may see how the direct recipients of the Islamic message understood the command to be dutiful to one’s parents. Their behavior towards their parents shows Muslims how one is to implement the teachings of the Prophet on honoring parents.

Abdullah Ibn Abbâs (d. 687CE), a companions of the Prophet and a great scholar of Islam, considered kind treatment of one’s mother to be the best deed for strengthening or rectifying one’s relation with God. He said:

I know of no other deed that brings people closer to Allah than kind
treatment and respect towards one’s mother. [Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî 1/45]

An even more powerful example is found in the statement of another one of the Prophet’s companions, Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar (d. 692CE), who was also a great scholar of Islam. It has been related that:

Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar saw a Yemeni man performing Tawâf (circumambulating the Ka’bah) while carrying his mother on his back. This man said to Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar, “I am like a tame camel for her! I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think I have paid her back, O Ibn ‘Umar?” Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar replied, “No, not even one contraction!!” [Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî 1/62]

SubhânAllah (Glory be to God)! The efforts of a man who carries his mother on his back while performing tawâf cannot even repay his mother for a single contraction that she went through for him. Wise indeed was Ibn ‘Umar’s reply to this man to show him how massively indebted he was to his mother. This is the tremendous value and prestigious position of mothers in Islam!
Yet another example is found in the following prophecy of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him):

There will come to you with reinforcements from Yemen a man
called Uways ibn ‘Âmir of the clan of Murâd from the tribe of Qaran. He had leprosy but has been cured of it except for a spot the size of a coin. He has a mother and he has always treated her
with kindness and respect. If he prays to Allah, Allah will fulfill his wish. If you can ask him to pray for forgiveness for you, then do so. [Sahîh Muslim 16/95]

Indeed, later on ‘Umar ibn al-Khattâb met Uways who was exactly as the Prophet described, and upon ‘Umar’s request Uways prayed for him. Commenting on this narration, Shaykh Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimî writes:

What a high status Uways reached by virtue of his kindness and respect towards his mother, so that the Prophet recommended his Sahabah [companions] to seek him out and ask him to pray for them!

All of this indicates the high status to which Islam has raised the position of motherhood, and given the mother precedence over the father. At the same time, Islam has given importance to both parents, and has enjoined kindness and respect to both. (Al-
Hashimi, The Ideal Muslimah, IIPH 2005, p. 167)

So great was the Islamic emphasis on parents, that the Muslims considered a great opportunity to attain paradise in service to one’s mother. Iyâs Ibn Mu’âwiyah was a famous Islamic scholar from the second generation of Muslims. When his mother died, Iyâs Ibn Mu’âwiyah cried. He was asked, “Why do you cry?” He said, “I used
to have two gates open to Paradise, now one of them is closed.”

Zayn al-‘Abidîn (d. 713CE) was the great grandson of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) and also a renowned scholar. He used to treat his mother with so much
kindness and love as seen in the following narration:

Once he was asked, ‘You are the most kind person to his mother, yet we have never seen you eating with her from a single dish.’ He replied, ‘I fear that my hand would take the what her eyes have
already seen in the dish, and then I would be disobeying her’. [At- Tartushi, Birr al-Wâlidayn]

In other words, he was so careful not to disobey his mother that he would even avoid eating out of the same plate as her; He thought that she would see a morsel and intend to take it, but before she did he might unknowingly take that same morsel and eat it. This is how careful he was to obey his mother in the most minute details.
Another early Islamic scholar, Sa’îd Ibn Al-Musayyib (d. 709CE), was asked about the meaning of the verse “but address them in terms of honor” (17:23) . Sa’îd Ibn Al-Musayyib replied:

It means that you should address them as a servant addresses his master.
Muhammad Ibn Sirîn (d. 729CE) used to speak to his mother in a very soft voice, out of respect for her. He was also often seen inBthe company of his mother and looking after her. (Ibn al-Jawzî, Birr

All that has preceded shows how the status of mothers – and consequently that of women – is elevated to the highest position in Islam. The honor Islam has given to mothers is beyond that found in any other religion, ideology or culture. This is clear proof of the
lofty status of Muslim Women.

Why Does a Single Good Deed Carry Tenfold Reward in Islam?

Alhamdulillah… Infinite thanks and praises are due to Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. May His Peace and Blessings be upon the Complete Human; Habibi Muhammad, his household, his companions and all those who follow his guided path till the day of Judgement.

The fact that God is the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful and the Most Loving and Caring for us, is enough to inspire us to appreciate why He matches every single good deed we carry out with tenfold reward, while on the other hand, a single wrongdoing entitles the doer to a single sin.
In addition to the above-mentioned understanding, the present article is a reflection on the concept of reward and punishment in Islam, from a different perspective, through which we look for more inspirations and motivations to work for the next life while enjoying the present.

Let me begin with a verse from Surah Al-Qasas, 28:84, where Allah says:

ﻣَﻦ ﺟَﺎﺀَ ﺑِﺎﻟْﺤَﺴَﻨَﺔِ ﻓَﻠَﻪُ ﺧَﻴْﺮٌ ﻣِّﻨْﻬَﺎ، ﻭَﻣَﻦ ﺟَﺎﺀَ ﺑِﺎﻟﺴَّﻴِّﺌَﺔِ ﻓَﻠَﺎ ﻳُﺠْﺰَﻯ ﺍﻟَّﺬِﻳﻦَ
ﻋَﻤِﻠُﻮﺍ ﺍﻟﺴَّﻴِّﺌَﺎﺕِ ﺇِﻟَّﺎ ﻣَﺎ ﻛَﺎﻧُﻮﺍ ﻳَﻌْﻤَﻠُﻮﻥ
It means, “He who does good shall be rewarded with something better. But he who does evil shall be requited according to his deeds.”
In Surah Al-An’aam, 6:160, Allah says, and it reads:

ﻣَﻦ ﺟَﺎﺀَ ﺑِﺎﻟْﺤَﺴَﻨَﺔِ ﻓَﻠَﻪُ ﻋَﺸْﺮُ ﺃَﻣْﺜَﺎﻟِﻬَﺎ، ﻭَﻣَﻦ ﺟَﺎﺀَ ﺑِﺎﻟﺴَّﻴِّﺌَﺔِ ﻓَﻠَﺎ ﻳُﺠْﺰَﻯ ﺇِﻟَّﺎ
ﻣِﺜْﻠَﻬَﺎ ﻭَﻫُﻢْ ﻟَﺎ ﻳُﻈْﻠَﻤُﻮﻥ
It means, “Whoever does a good deed will be repaid tenfold, but those who do a bad deed will only be repaid with its equivalent and they shall not be wronged.”
Every evil deed entitles its doer to a sin equivalent to the evil he committed. In doing so, Allah refers to that equivalence as fair and justice ( they shall not be wronged ). This is to say,
there’s no way one could be accused for what he has done not, let alone getting punished for it.
As for the good doer, his reward for his righteous deeds is always better than the deed itself. The minimum of that ‘better rewards’ is tenfold. Allah could match a good deed with one reward, similar to one sin, which is matched to one every single evil deed. What is the possible wisdom behind this equation?
Wrongdoing Requires No Condition
Among the possible wisdom ( Hikamh ) of this equation is that, it takes no determination to commit a sin and invite the displeasure of God. Why? Everyone can sin; the believer may sin. The disbeliever sins. The pious person may sin. The non-pious does sin. Man sins. Woman sins. The young can sin, so is the adult. In short, it takes no effort to sin.
Also, part of the challenges man has to experience in this life, is that his soul incites him to evil. Thus, sinful things and deeds are desirable to him, while righteous things and deeds are
undesirable to him. Because he is challenged not to fall victim to the desirables at his dispose, he is only awarded a sin (demerit point), whenever he fails the test. We understand this from the Hadeeth of the Prophet, reported by Imam Muslim:

ﺣُﻔَّﺖِ ﺍﻟْﺠَﻨَّﺔُ ﺑِﺎﻟْﻤَﻜَﺎﺭِﻩِ، ﻭَﺣُﻔَّﺖِ ﺍﻟﻨَّﺎﺭُ ﺑِﺎﻟﺸَّﻬَﻮَﺍﺕ
It meant, “Heaven is covered with the undesirables and Hell fire is covered with the desirables.” What about good deeds? Good Deeds Require Effort and Come With Conditions unlike doing sin, doing righteous deeds is challenging. There are three things you must do to in your way to righteousness. First, you have to walk out of the evil desires at your dispose. Second, you have to go for the righteous deeds and oblige
yourself to them. Remember the Hadeeth of the Prophet salla Allahu ‘alaihi wasallam (above) says:

ﺣُﻔَّﺖِ ﺍﻟْﺠَﻨَّﺔُ ﺑِﺎﻟْﻤَﻜَﺎﺭِﻩِ، ﻭَﺣُﻔَّﺖِ ﺍﻟﻨَّﺎﺭُ ﺑِﺎﻟﺸَّﻬَﻮَﺍﺕ
Which means, “Heaven is covered with the undesired and Hell fire is covered with the desired.” The two things mentioned above are the effort we need to put in, to achieve righteous deeds. There is one more thing left, and that is the most important of all. Really? Yes.
The final step (third) is, you have to fulfil one condition for the effort you have put to be accepted. That one condition is that the doer must be a believer Mu’min ). In other words, Iman (belief in the One God) must fill his heart first. This is
understood from various verses from the Qur’an. One of them is the verse of Surah Al-Nahl, 16:97, where Allah says:

ﻣَﻦْ ﻋَﻤِﻞَ ﺻَﺎﻟِﺤًﺎ ﻣِّﻦ ﺫَﻛَﺮٍ ﺃَﻭْ ﺃُﻧﺜَﻰ ﻭَﻫُﻮَ ﻣُﺆْﻣِﻦٌ ﻓَﻠَﻨُﺤْﻴِﻴَﻨَّﻪُ ﺣَﻴَﺎﺓً ﻃَﻴِّﺒَﺔً،
ﻭَﻟَﻨَﺠْﺰِﻳَﻨَّﻬُﻢْ ﺃَﺟْﺮَﻫُﻢ ﺑِﺄَﺣْﺴَﻦِ ﻣَﺎ ﻛَﺎﻧُﻮﺍ ﻳَﻌْﻤَﻠُﻮﻥَ

It means, “To whoever does good deeds, man or woman, and is a believer, We shall assuredly give a good life; and We will bestow upon them their reward according to the best of their works.”
Also, in Surah Ghafir, 40:40, Allah says:

ﻣَﻦْ ﻋَﻤِﻞَ ﺻَﺎﻟِﺤًﺎ ﻣِّﻦ ﺫَﻛَﺮٍ ﺃَﻭْ ﺃُﻧﺜَﻰ ﻭَﻫُﻮَ ﻣُﺆْﻣِﻦٌ ﻓَﺄُﻭﻟَـﺌِﻚَ ﻳَﺪْﺧُﻠُﻮﻥَ ﺍﻟْﺠَﻨَّﺔَ
ﻳُﺮْﺯَﻗُﻮﻥَ ﻓِﻴﻬَﺎ ﺑِﻐَﻴْﺮِ ﺣِﺴَﺎﺏٍ

It means, “but whoever does good, whether male or female, and is a believer, will enter the Garden; where they will be provided for without measure.” Similarly, Allah also says in Surah Al-Anbiya, 21:94:

ﻓَﻤَﻦ ﻳَﻌْﻤَﻞْ ﻣِﻦَ ﺍﻟﺼَّﺎﻟِﺤَﺎﺕِ ﻭَﻫُﻮَ ﻣُﺆْﻣِﻦٌ ﻓَﻠَﺎ ﻛُﻔْﺮَﺍﻥَ ﻟِﺴَﻌْﻴِﻪِ ﻭَﺇِﻧَّﺎ ﻟَﻪُ

It means, “He who does good works while he is a believer, shall not see his efforts disregarded: We record them all.” The three verses above, among other verses in the Qur’an not indicated here, emphasize on the requirement of Iman in order for our deeds to be validated. Thus, attaining rewards for
righteous deeds is only confirmed only when one is in the state of Iman.
We have come to understand that the one who possesses Iman is a Mu’min (Believer). What does it mean to be a Believer?
What Does it Mean to Be a Believer?
Being a believer differs from being a Muslim. A Muslim does what people see and perceive to be correct (right[eous]). A believer lives what only God knows and sees. This means, every one can be a Muslim, even the hypocrites among us are Muslims. But only the righteous (the selected) can be believers ( Mu’minun ).
Believing in the existence of God alone doesn’t qualify one to be a complete Believer ( Mu’min ), but it sets the foundation for him to attain the remaining requirements of a complete
Believer. It’s important to know that everything about Belief (Iman) is unseen. They are not measurable. Therefore, we need forgo our logic and reason, and listen to what God and His
Prophet tell us.
We develop a proper Iman (belief) when we have believed in the six pillars of Iman. Knowledge about these six pillars is only attained through a divine revelation ( Wahy) and the Prophet
Muhammad has successfully conveyed that knowledge to his
Ummah . The six pillars are:
1. Belief in Allah (the One God)
2. Belief in the Angels of God
3. Belief in the Scriptures of God
4. Belief in the Messengers of God
5. Belief in the Last Day (Day of Resurrection)
6. Belief in Fate and Destiny, the good and the bad
Now let’s briefly touch on the pillars of Iman .
Belief in Allah (the One God)
Although we are not meant to see God with our naked eyes in this life, the natural feelings in every human tells of the existence of the One God.
God is One. He is Self-Sufficient. He does not give birth, nor was He born. And there’s nothing like Him. Belief in the Angels of God Angels are creatures of God, whom He created to serve Him,
and they fail not to obey His commands to them, and they are prompt as they are commanded.
God has used Angels to reveal all his commandments to mankind. Therefore they are only seen by those Prophets and Messengers, to whom they were sent. Only God knows their number.
The famous names among Angels known to us are Jibril (Gabriel), Mikaeel (Michael), Maalik, Ridwan, Israfeel, Azraeel.
Belief in the Scriptures of God, the Scriptures of God are those revelations descended to His chosen Prophets and Messengers. Those scriptures contain[ed] His commandments to us, and serve as our life manual. Through such scriptures and the Prophets, we get concrete and undoubted knowledge about God, the Hereafter and the unseen world.
The Qur’an in our hands today, serves as an example and is the most authentic scripture of God, which is still in use. It’s going to remain as such, till the Last Day.
Belief in the Messengers of God, Messengers and Prophets are human beings chosen from among humans to communicate with God through Angels and revelations and then convey the message(s) of God to His servants, and to remind them of their ultimate purpose in this existence, and to guide them towards the His Pleasure.
Belief in the Last Day (Day of Resurrection), In this life, everything is certainly temporal. In the next life (The
Last Day) everything is shall be eternal. When the day starts, there shall be two destinations. Heaven will be for those who chose righteousness in this life, and Hellfire will be for those who chose infidelity and transgression. It’s for this day, that this article is written.
Belief in Fate and Destiny, the good and the bad, this world is meant to be the home for all trials and tests.
That’s why not all incidents are logical to human comprehension. We have the right of choice, but at the same times, we are obliged to believe in Fate and Destiny .
It’s important to indicate here, that of all the six pillars of Iman, belief in the existence of God is the easiest attained. Yes, God created the remaining pillars of Iman, but we have to believe in them equally as we believe in God, Himself. In fact, disbelieving in one of the pillars of Iman disqualifies one from Islam.
We are not able to measure the state of Iman in others’ hearts, but each of us knows what is in his heart. On that basis, each one of us can be certain about the strength of his belief when in trials. This means, although I mentioned earlier that Iman is not measurable, you can try to measure yours, just to know (or estimate) its strength, and the extent to which it has settled in your heart.
How Do We Measure Our Iman?
We know our Iman is solid and has settled in our hearts (for good) when we are tested and put to the “undesirables.” How we react and handle tribulations; whether with contentment, patience, anger or sigh tells our level of Iman. This is why the companions of the Prophet are the best of all generations;
they’ve undergone all sorts of test for Iman, and all the them passed, save the hypocrites.
In times of desperate need, hardship and calamity, different people outsource different means to overcome their problems. But the believers always have one way in common to solve their
problems, despite their geographical, economical, intellectual, cultural and language differences; they turn to the One God. Do you? If you do, you are safe. If you do not, it’s not too late. So
take action now, for you do not know when you will stop breathing.
Getting your faith/iman right may seem difficult, and indeed it is… but it is easy. It’s going to remain difficult so long as you keep your heart attached to worldly materials. And it is going to start to be easy once you start to detach your heart from the worldly gains. Then, start making your intention of all you do for
God’s Sake alone. That’s it; all your endeavours become righteous, and you are rewarded in every step you make with tenfold reward, insha Allah.
Those were the feelings (faith) of the believers, which no one can ever take control over it, against their will, but God. What are their characteristics through which they are likely identified?
10 Characteristics of the Believers
There are various verses in the Qur’an that outline characteristics of the believers. Below is an outline of some of them. If you live them or most of them, I’m confident that you live a very high state of inner happiness. The believer…
1. He believes in Allah and His Prophet
2. He has no doubt in his faith
3. His heart becomes fearful when Allah is mentioned
4. His faith increases when the Qur’an is read for them
5. He attend to his prayers on punctual basis
6. He’s humble in his prayers
7. He pays his zakat
8. He safeguards his chastity
9. He is faithful to his trust and promises
10. He turns away from all frivolous

In worldly speaking, purposeful failure is a destination that requires no effort to reach. But success is a summit, which requires a lot of preparation, determination and sacrifice. The
satisfaction attained after reaching the summit worth all the struggles and sacrifices. So is doing righteous deeds and evil deeds and the scale for reward and punishment that come with them, respectfully.
In human-to-human relationship, you are punished beyond your mistakes, and you are seldom (never) rewarded with equivalent to your achievement. This is total opposite when it comes to
God-to-human relationship. Rewards and punishments take place in the day of resurrection. Thus, don’t lose focus in attaining such great rewards, as a result of the pains and inconvenience you experience, when you see the non-believers
and the transgressors enjoying what you think is convenience
and happy life. Always remember this:

ﺃَﻡْ ﺣَﺴِﺐَ ﺍﻟَّﺬِﻳﻦَ ﺍﺟْﺘَﺮَﺣُﻮﺍ ﺍﻟﺴَّﻴِّﺌَﺎﺕِ ﺃَﻥ ﻧَّﺠْﻌَﻠَﻬُﻢْ ﻛَﺎﻟَّﺬِﻳﻦَ ﺁﻣَﻨُﻮﺍ ﻭَﻋَﻤِﻠُﻮﺍ
ﺍﻟﺼَّﺎﻟِﺤَﺎﺕِ ﺳَﻮَﺍﺀً ﻣَّﺤْﻴَﺎﻫُﻢْ ﻭَﻣَﻤَﺎﺗُﻬُﻢْ، ﺳَﺎﺀَ ﻣَﺎ ﻳَﺤْﻜُﻤُﻮﻥ
It means, “Do those who commit evil deeds imagine that We shall deal with them in the same way as We deal with those who have attained to faith and do righteous deeds, that they will be alike in their living and their dying? How ,badly they judge!” [Surah Al-Jathiah, 45:21]
May Allah grant us Paradise and anything that will lead us to it. May He grant us the spiritual immunity that shall aid us out of the desires at our dispose, and empower us to commit to
righteousness, so to attain His Ultimate Pleasure. Ameen.

I would like to hear from you. I welcome your comments, feedback, suggestions and questions. Remember to share this
piece with your loved ones.
Allah knows best.


Muslim Homes: Islamic Family Values In An Anti-Family Society

In Sura’tul Al Nahl (Sura 16) in the
Qur’an, Allah (SWT) says, “And Allah
has made for you in your homes an


What does the home represent to the
Muslim family? Is it a place where
family members can relate to one
another and where they sincerely enjoy being together; where they have a sense of shared beliefs and values, and their behavior is based on Islamic
principles? Is it a place where family
members are protected, happy and kind to one another?

The home should not be just a place
where people eat, rest and sleep; indeed, the home is the place where we spend most of our time, and where
families spend most of their time
together. It is the place where husbands and wives can be alone together. Therefore, the home is a place where families should worship together, and it should be based on Allah’s (SWT) rules and guidance. It has been reported by Ibn Abi Aldunia and others (Sahih al-Jaami) that, “When Allah loves the people of a household, he introduces kindness among them.”

The question we face now is: “In an age in which the world has changed profoundly, from being a basically pro-
family to anti-family society, how many Muslim homes possess these
beautiful qualities? It is time to stop and re-examine our family situations to determine to what degree they have been affected by our larger society.

Although it is difficult to obtain
statistical information pertaining
specifically to the healthiness of
Muslim homes, several different
sources and the occurrence of certain
situations in our community indicate
that Muslim families are also
experiencing social and personal
problems as well.
Consider that there has been a
marked increase within our community
in the following:
1) separation and divorce rates;
2) the percentage of families headed by a single parent;
4) disagreements, tension and conflict among married couples;
5) intergenerational conflict;
6) the rate of depression, particularly among wives;
7) domestic violence involving teens.

Reasons Behind These Problems. What
are the real reasons behind the
changes that are occurring within
Muslim families?

In the past, it was far easier to
successfully raise a family because
society itself supported our efforts.
Parents and children were surrounded
by positive role models; the media
reinforced family values, and support
systems existed to help create strong
families. However, over the past thirty
years, these factors have changed
dramatically, and these changes have
produced powerfully negative effects on our families.

Today, almost everything around us tends to minimize positive family values and principles. As our families
are a part of an increasingly immoral
society, they have been attacked and
polluted as well – whether we like it or not. Even though our values and
principles may have helped us to resist these changes, like others in our society, we are still vulnerable to the
negative influences around us. Those
that are weak in their Islamic practice and that lack wisdom and judgment are particularly likely to succumb to the mental poisoning that takes place

However, we cannot completely blame
the times and the world we live in.
Husbands and wives, mothers and
fathers, must accept responsibility for
seeking to protect their families from
this anti-family society. The occurrence of these problems within Muslim families of all backgrounds and circumstances indicates that the
problems are “outside-in.”

When marriage is reduced to nothing
more than two married people who
live together but act as if they are
single, the “spirit of family” disappears
from the home! When these couples
choose to have an “I, me” orientation
of life, rather than a “we, us” perspective, family members will not
work together for the sake of the
family, or enjoy being together.

When both father and mother are
working outside of their homes for
economic reasons and the care and
education of their children are shifted to childcare providers and teachers, the children are often deprived of having their emotional and intellectual needs adequately met. When both parents don’t understand that their family’s well being must be a major priority and that they must sacrifice to build, protect, and reinforce their family, the family “building” falls down!

When Muslim families forget the
importance in Islam of building a
strong foundation for family life; when
spouses forget the rights that Allah
(SWT) has given their mates over
them, their love disappears. Instead,
anger, disagreements, and conflict take its place. When fathers and husbands do not set aside a special time for their families to talk, laugh, communicate; when wives and mothers spend most of their time caring for young children and inside of the kitchen, tranquility and family success “go with the wind.”

When both forget to exercise and utilize the human gifts that Allah (SWT) has bestowed upon them – patience, kindness, and understanding – the whole family pays a huge price.

How to Solve These Problems. We can
return to strong family values and
strengthen our homes by spreading the
teachings of Islam in regards to family

First, we need to keep alive, in our
hearts and minds, the sense of hope
and the belief that it is never too late to change – even if we have the feeling that our marriage is dying and that nothing seems to be improving (WA LA YAKNAT MIN RAHMET ALLAH ELA ALKAWM AL KAFEREEN). And at the same time, we must remember that the desire to build a strong family is not enough – good intentions and ideas are not enough. We must develop a new mindset based on Islamic principles and practices.

We must strive hard to develop and
recognize the gifts that Allah has given to us that will enable us to become agents of change within our families. Everyone knows his or her family situation better than anyone else, and no one can understand what needs to be done within our personal families better than we can.

Marriage requires collaboration,
commitment and a sense of responsibility; these things equip us to
choose and to work together towards a “we, us” or “together” orientation. We must strive to develop a deeper knowledge of the importance of the
family and family values in Islam in
order to deal with the powerful forces
that surround us.

We must set aside a special time each week for our family members to enjoy one another, communicate, plan, and study Islam together. Husbands and wives need to spend time together talking and striving to have a sense of
humor. They need to exercise self-control because when either of them
gets angry and loses control, the effects can be wounding. Our tempers can get us into big problems.

Although problems are expected in every marriage, patience and
forgiveness are the best gifts that we
can use to correct mistakes. We must
strive to be patient, kind, calm, and above all, to understand our partner’s
point of view.

The only way we can have rich family
relationships is through listening and
understanding. One of the primary
reasons that we must seek to
understand one another is that most of
our mistakes are a result of
misunderstandings and not bad

Husbands and wives should avoid
discussing their personal problems and private matters with others. They also need to encourage each other in their obedience to Allah, and to raise their kids according to Islamic values,
because there is no doubt that a child
who grows up without Islamic values
suffers long-term.

Children get much of their sense of
security and tranquility from the way
their fathers and mothers treat each
other; hence, the greatest thing we
can give to them is through our loving
and being kind to one another. By
building strong marriages, Insha’Allah,
we will create a powerful effect on
the entire Islamic society.

By Sahar Kassaimah